Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
