I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
