We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
