The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
