he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
