Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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