She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
