Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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