New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
