Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
