You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
