Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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