it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
