well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
