In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
