Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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