He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I said "one day" and that day is not today
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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