Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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