is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
