I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
