Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
