Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
