Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Randomize
