If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
