Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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