Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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