Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you had me at cake vodka
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
