Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
