So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
