Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i need some magic done to my vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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