From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
