were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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