he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
