Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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