Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
