Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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