What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
