sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They took my balls.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
