Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
