I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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