We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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