i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
