Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
