I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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