Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
