What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
