Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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