Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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