Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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