there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We have so much sex to catch up on
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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