I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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